Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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