just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize