it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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