WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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