so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
