The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
