You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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