my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
