I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
