So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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