Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
