it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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