Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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