wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
