12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
