he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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