I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
