Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
