my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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