I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
