dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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