So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
