just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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