Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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