i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
