Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
