Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
