bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
