I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
