if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize