This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
