HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
