Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize