You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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