I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
