Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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