Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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