Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
