Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
3 2 1 whiskey
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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