you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
people are starting to question the shark bite story
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The Olympian is in my bed
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
