4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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