u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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