remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
