I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
