We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
