Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
