Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
