my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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