I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
