are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
