So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just threw up on my dentist
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
