i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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