I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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