Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
