If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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