I cockslap morals
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
