Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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