yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
